Let me just start by saying that I GREATLY underestimated the emotional toll trying to conceive was going to take. I have spent my whole life doing everything in my power to avoid getting pregnant and now that I want it…it is a lot harder than I thought.
We have been talking about gearing up for growing our family for awhile now, we originally going to “start trying” in March 2020– and then the Covid Pandemic hit and we pushed it off another 3 months. In that time I did all the research I could to make sure we were 100% Ready. I ready the books, surfed Pinterest for blog posts, downloaded the “What to Expect” app and scrolled through the discussion boards for additional support and answers on what to expect.
I read that the best possibility of becoming pregnant was to have sex during your fertile window, so I downloaded 3 different apps to track my cycle to make sure my fertile window was as accurate as possible. I bough Clear Blue Digital Ovulation Tests off Amazon to pinpoint my exact high and peak fertile days. We started doing the deed when I got my first High reading on the tests and proceeded to have sex every single day until after my ovulation date. I also read that to help increases chances of implantation you should each the core of a pineapple because of the high amounts of bromelain (it is an enzyme that helps break down and digest food and when taken on an empty stomach acts as an inflammatory and blood thinner which helps promote implantation- you are welcome for the mini science lesson). So I had Michael get me a fresh whole pineapple and I sliced it into 5 pieces and blended them into smoothies each morning until I was 6 days post ovulation (dpo). In the meantime I had a note on my phone where I tracked every. single. “pre-pregnancy”. symptom in detail. I was CONVINCED I was pregnant– I mean, I had done everything right, how could I not be? I began taking taking at home pregnancy tests 7dpo (which by the way is wayyyyyy too early, but I couldn’t control myself) and got my first negative. I told myself it was just too early and proceeded to test every single day after and each time it came up negative a small piece of my heart crumbled, but I kept telling myself it was still early- that women on the discussion boards didn’t get their big fat positives until like 20dpo, so there was still hope.
lol- guess what, trying to literally engineer making a baby does not work.
My period ended up arriving 3 days late and I was absolutely devastated. Okay so no judgment because yes I do realized it was only our first month trying and statically is there is a low probability of actually getting pregnant on the first try- BUT I still felt like I somehow failed. My mom had kept telling me how fertile the women our family are and I had this sky-high expectation that this would be easy for us. We are younger, active, eat healthy, don’t smoke..why didn’t it work? After I cried it out I thought back at what I could have done wrong and it dawned on me that I was acting like a literal spaz- I was so stressed out about trying to not be stressed out that my body decided to revolt in an effort to get my to come back down to Earth and chillllllll the effffff outtttttt!
So for month 2 we are going to try a new approach- i.e I am going to act like a normal human and just let it happen when it happens and be happy with that. Will follow up soon!
Xoxo- Corissa